The Dark Knight Rises
August 19, 2012 in Uncategorized
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38 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Rob T Firefly
This is brilliant! I look forward to more.
August 31, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Chris
Very amusing – I eagerly await part 2
September 1, 2012 at 8:21 am
The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - Page 2
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September 1, 2012 at 6:37 pm
auradis
This is awesome! Is this your first entry, or am I just too stupid to figure out where the rest of them are??
September 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm
tokyosexwhale
It is indeed the first of what I hope will be many. Roll on Prometheus…
September 2, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Spacepope
Funny stuff. Obviously youve not quite got a couple of things (the bruce back to gotham “plot hole” and the broken back thing for example), but it made me chuckle none the less. Looking forward to more stuff.
September 4, 2012 at 12:41 am
Rohit Ramachandran
Hahahahahahahahaha. Dude you’re fuckin hilarious!
September 4, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Olly Francis
Marvellous, bloody marvellous. Spacepope – how did Bruce get back?
September 5, 2012 at 2:01 am
Dave
YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!!! Amazing.
September 5, 2012 at 2:53 am
Kris
I bloody love you!
I too sat alone in a cinema full of slack jaws giggling at the utter stupidity. I’ve seen better death scenes between 5 year olds playing with fake swords. Yes Marion, I’m talking to you!
September 5, 2012 at 10:49 am
Alexander Matthews
What about the damn frozen river when it’s not winter anywhere else?
September 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm
taerata
Or the police officers’ guns mysteriously disappearing when they emerge from underground?
September 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm
nerdhurdles
Completely Amazing. I would like to direct your to our podcast episode on TDKR but you probably wouldn’t find it interesting because you’ve pretty much captured everything we say (and more) in your comic (http://nerdhurdles.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/tdkr/). Please do Prometheus!
September 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Anonymous
[...] [...]
September 5, 2012 at 5:56 pm
The Watchman
This was just brilliant! Bravo, sir! Bravo!
September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm
Delta Assault
Motocross bikes wouldn’t fit through normal doors? Huh? Then how did they get out of those same doors when Bane and his henchmen rode out of them? Where did he hide them? Well, there seemed to be plenty of room in that large stock exchange room.
The US government didn’t refuse to take down Bane’s dictatorship because of a lack of bridges. There was one perfectly serviceable bridge remaining. They even rolled the army up to it. The reason they refused to go in and rescue the city was because of the threat of the nuke. If they went in, the anonymous triggerman would set it off. It had nothing to do with the bridges.
Prisoners in the pit couldn’t just climb out of it with the safety rope. The safety rope only went up part of the way, not all the way. They still had to make the leap.
Bruce getting back to Gotham isn’t a plothole, it’s just something we aren’t shown. Bruce had already spent 7 years abroad after running away on a cargo ship, traveling around the world without money or resources. It makes sense that he’d be able to do it again. Or, he could’ve had money stashed away in foreign bank accounts, as a contingency. Plus, it would’ve made for a boring scene, watching Bruce stow away on a plane. And him getting into occupied Gotham isn’t hard to imagine either, because he’s been trained by ninjas and can walk on ice, ie swordfight with Ra’s Al Ghul in BB. “Always mind your surroundings.”
September 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm
tokyosexwhale
You are called ‘Delta Assault’ and you mention ‘trained ninjas’.
I cannot disagree with anyone calling themselves ‘Delta Assault’.
September 6, 2012 at 2:45 am
Kevin Gunn
I would have liked to see your take on the “Robin” John Blake issue
September 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm
tokyosexwhale
I honestly didn’t have an issue with that. I did have an issue with Blake’s complete lack of actual detecting skills. (see how he just stumbles across Selina Kyle)
September 14, 2012 at 12:23 am
Grai
On figuring out batman’s identity: Nolan couldn’t have use empirical evidence because then anybody could have figured it out. The emotional connection is far stronger.
On stumbling across Selina: Blake was looking for Bruce and the last place that he dropped him off was at Selina’s place. Naturally, he would have gone back there. Selina matched the description by the Congressman so he took her in.
On how batman got back: it was previously mentioned, but Bruce has been shown to navigate around the world for 7 years without money or resources. I’m sure he could have found a way back to Gotham. This fits in with the universe that Nolan created.
Basically, there’s no satisfying people like you who are just eager to point out “flaws” that you couldn’t personally pick up in the movie. If Nolan had explained everything in detail like you asked, then you would have criticized it as being “too expository” like you did with the Clean Slate dialogue.
September 15, 2012 at 12:01 pm
tokyosexwhale
You are right about EVERYTHING. I will never ever think of doing another review poking gentle fun at expensive movie’s full of plot holes and bad dialogue.
Please come back next month when I review Prometheus.
September 6, 2012 at 2:47 am
Rodney
movie was PUUURE shit…
September 6, 2012 at 2:49 am
Evan
This was spot-on. Your rating of 6.8 was a fair one, as it’s certainly not the film everyone chalks it up to be.
September 6, 2012 at 5:38 am
June
It made me really happy to know I wasn’t the only one wondering how the heck bane ate. However your idea was ingenious. I just imaged him drinking from a coffee straw while shooting up steroids for his muscle build
September 6, 2012 at 8:06 am
reverend61
This has had me chuckling at my desk. I loved the ‘aspiring screenwriter’ cut-outs. I wondered about that Florence ending too, and the fact that Michael Caine happens to turn up at the very same time on the very same day that Christian and Anne are having a couple of lattes, sitting at the very table they were in when Michael was waxing lyrical in his Best Supporting Actor clip.
There’s also the fact that the blast radius for the nuclear bomb was six miles, and that horizon can’t have been more than three miles away, which means that if you can see it (as everyone in Gotham did), you’re dead. Which means that the entire last ten minutes are a collective fantasy…
September 6, 2012 at 10:32 am
tonykeen46
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person to think “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb!”
September 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Phil
Reblogged this on The Shell Case and commented:
This is utterly brilliant and pretty much echoes my feelings towards The Dark Knight Rises.
September 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm
evilnik
HAHAHHAHA brilliant!
September 7, 2012 at 7:22 am
Peter
Remember the time you made Batman? No? Enjoy your blog.
September 10, 2012 at 9:08 pm
tokyosexwhale
I DO actually! My Dad’s old Super 8 camera. Me with a pair of underpants over my head, my face poking through a leg hole, an old table cloth tied around my neck and for some unknown reason, pink washing up gloves on my feet.
I was the caped crusader!
I can always remember my Mum ruining take after take by yelling at me to go to work. Great days.
Anyhoo, enjoy your high blood pressure.
September 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm
tokyosexwhale
Thanks very much for all your lovely comments.
September 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Ladiesman
I think it’s pretty clear he got back to Gotham via easyjet
September 29, 2012 at 9:21 am
T.Sale
Excellent stuff, really enjoyed giving it a read, more entertaining than the film itself. The autopilot thing is explained however, but the with the wave of disappointment and a ever increasing level of boredom I nearly missed it too
September 30, 2012 at 6:47 pm
prettyfeetpoptoe
This was hilarious and insightful. I love you.
Note to self: NEVER watch a film with this git.
November 20, 2012 at 8:07 pm
John ChaAm
Man that was brilliant!
January 11, 2013 at 5:28 pm
largeduck
hilarious – can’t wait for more
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